You’ve got Mail (Derogatory)

mid-week interlude that's too big for a tweet, too small for an essay

The last two years have catapulted a new meaning of outlook into my life. I used to be an optimist. Now I have 1340 unread emails.

I work as a starter pack associate in a law firm, which means my toolkit involves only decent language skills and being obsequious over e-mail. I will thank you for giving me the opportunity to write to you, thank you for your response, apologise for delays, send you all my regards; remind you, gently, that you have not reverted to us for four days now and yet complain about delays on all-party update calls. I don’t mind it, I think it makes my job look far more complex and important than it is – I love posturing!

I find patterns of variation in replies quite amusing. The Indian law firm will one-up your politeness, the foreign law firm will keep it quick, cause the associate’s circadian rhythm is yet to adjust to working India time (yet still polite), and the client will sign off her mail with a “Br”, deeming me unworthy of her best and warmest regard.

“Br”, was the first time I had seen the written equivalent of week-old packaged pao.

I couldn’t get over it.

Me, with my Times New Roman, 11 pt, single spacing, justified (rule of thumb) typing - her with her unjustified Br.

Something changed in me that July of 2024. I decided to adopt a client mindset to my own life. I was going to make unreasonable demands of myself, and meet those myself. I was going to work overtime, without pay. I was going to expect more from others.

My unorthodoxy bit me in the behind, but am happy to announce that I have indeed, quieted the client inside me. It took 6 months. More on this soon.

Have a good rest of the week and hope you had a semblance of happiness to compensate for the utter disappoint that was office Secret Santa.

Br,

Eesha